


Secrets Live But Love Goes On

by shipsfrecklesandhorseface



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Azumane Asahi Week, Blood, Contains a really small amount of nudity, Kind of angsty, M/M, first time writing asanoya so please forgive me if this sucks, intense situtations, like smaller than a bread crumb, werewolf!Asahi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5166113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsfrecklesandhorseface/pseuds/shipsfrecklesandhorseface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Azumane Asahi has a secret that he has been keeping hidden from his boyfriend since the day they met, but the secret is getting harder to keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets Live But Love Goes On

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Azumane Asahi week 2015 days 2,3,4,5, and 7. It's kind of a roller coaster so please have a warm blanket and your favorite comfort fod standing by if possible.

The woods were very beautiful this time of year. The leaves were a mixture of bright reds and sunset oranges. Small animals scurried around getting ready for the coming winter. It was a brilliant scene that exemplified the beauty of nature, but Asahi never thought about any of that, not since he was 18, not since the incident. Not since he was attacked and bitten... and changed forever. 

It had been six long and painful years since Azumane Asahi was bitten by a black wolf and became what most of the scifi community would call a werewolf. It had been a struggle to acclimate himself to the life of being a “little more” than human. From honing his new hyped instincts, to figuring out the best place to change so he wouldn’t hurt people, everything was difficult and created a huge amount of stress for the young man, but after years of experience he’s managed to get the hang of it, for the most part. He still worries a lot about people finding out, and about hurting others. He especially worries about his boyfriend finding out because if he knew...if he knew...Asahi knows he’d lose him. Maybe that would be for the best. Then he wouldn’t have to keep worrying about him finding out, then he wouldn’t have nightmares about the wolf inside him hurting his boyfriend; but for some reason Asahi can’t stand the thought of losing him.

It’s selfish. Asahi knows this, but Nishinoya Yuu had become a beautiful light in his dark and frightening little world. Since he came into his life 7 months ago, Noya has done nothing but brighten Asahi’s life and make him feel happier and safer than he’s felt in years. He supports him even when he royally stumbles. He makes him laugh when he’s on the brink of tears. He’s beautiful, and a little crazy, but God he just makes Asahi’s heart swell and he just...he can’t lose him. He knows it will hurt him more than anything if he loses Noya. 

So Asahi goes out of his way to keep Noya from finding out his secret, but that had become very hard the past 2 months. During those months Noya had begun to stare at Asahi suspiciously when he didn’t think Asahi was looking. He then began to ask weird questions like “What do you think a person can do for a day?” and “Do you think people begin trust each other less as they spend more time together?” Then finally yesterday, the day before the next full moon,  he and Noya fought...like really fought. 

“Why do you keep leaving at the end of each month?!” Noya had yelled with a mixture of anger and worry in his voice.

“Noya I...I can’t tell you.” Asahi said, trying to remain calm but beginning to lose his temper.

“Why? Why can’t you tell me! What’s so damn important that you leave one day at the end of each month, not telling me where you are going, then come back and not say a word about it!” Noya screamed.

“I...I told you I can’t tell you! It’s...you wouldn’t understand!” Asahi yelled, desperately trying to plead with Noya.

Noya looked at him spitefully, his fists clenched, and tears brimming in his eyes. He then looked down, taking in a deep breath before looking up again at Asahi with tears streaming down his face. “Asahi-san... if you’re not going to be honest with me...then leave!”

Asahi’s heart felt like it was shattering. He looked at Noya. He looked at how angry and worried he was, but even after what he had said Asahi couldn’t bring himself to tell him. He wouldn’t believe him, and even if he did it would cause Noya to worry a lot and he might get hurt. So Asahi did one of the hardest things he had to do. He left Noya standing in the small apartment the two of them shared, crying and shaking, and he didn’t look back. 

* * *

 

Now as the day was turning into night, Asahi stood deep within the forest near Miyagi, his heat still shattered, getting ready for another horrific night as a wolf, as a monster. 

He went through his usual preparations. He climbed a tree high enough from the ground to hide a small gym bag in so that his wallet, keys, and his extra clothing would be safe. He then climbed down form the tree and scared off the animals in the area so that they wouldn’t be caught by the wolf.  Once he was sure he had scarred away every living thing near him that wasn’t a tree he began to strip out of his clothes. He began by taking off his shirt, but he barely got the shirt over his head when he heard a branch break from somewhere close to him. 

Asahi’s head shot straight up and his instincts went into over drive. He listened closely to his surroundings and sniffed the air trying to figure out what was around him. He hoped, prayed it was just some courageously stupid animal, but his hopes were destroyed when he caught the scent of black coffee and Gari Gari Kun. 

Asahi’s eyes widened in fear and horror as he yelled “Nishinoya! Is that you?!”

Sure enough, from behind the tree Asahi had heard the noise come from Nishinoya appeared from behind it along with his best friend,Tanaka Ryunosuke, who Asahi had met on multiple occasions. He was standing behind Noya with a look that said “I’m going to beat your huge ass for hurting my friend” which Asahi felt he rightfully deserved, but not right now, not here, not when he was about to..

“What are you doing here?! You need to leave now!” Asahi begged desperately with panic building in his voice.

Noya stood firmly, not showing any signs of leaving anytime soon. He looked at Asahi with a stern, but also confused expression. “I’m not leaving. Not until you tell me why you’re here and...and why the hell are you taking off your shirt?”

“Noya I can’t...please go! I’ll explain everything later. Just please go!” Asahi yelled. 

“No! I’m not letting you run away and dodge the issue anymore! I’m worried about you Asa-san and I...God I can’t keep seeing that pained look you get at the end of each month when you return from these..weird ass trips. So please just talk to me!”

Panic was swelling inside Asahi. They needed to leave. They had to leave! But Noya didn’t appear he would budge. But maybe if he pleaded with Tanaka..

Asahi focused his gaze on the guy standing behind Noya. “I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry. I promise to explain everything, but you two have to leave! Please!”

Tanaka looked at Asahi with the same furious and determined look his best friend had, but as he examined Asahi he noticed that he was shaking and that his eyes were beginning to fill with tears. He hated the tall man for what he did to Noya and wanted to beat his ass for it, but something about the tone of his voice and the way he was shaking and looking at the two of them with such a frenzied expression made Tanaka think something was about to happen. Something bad.

“Noya I think maybe we should listen to him.” Tanaka says as he looks down at his friend with a mildly worried expression. 

Noya looks up at him feeling shocked and betrayed. “Ryu! You said you’d back me on this!”

“Hey man I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you. I’m still gonna beat his ass later if he doesn’t tell you what you want to know.” Tanaka states as he points at Asahi. He then places his hand on Noya’s left shoulder and continues. “But right now my gut is telling me that some kind of bad shit is about to go down and we should go.”

Noya looks at his friend and he must admit he does get a weird feeling in his stomach. Its kind of like the feeling a dog gets when it senses something bad and starts barking crazily, but as much as that feeling swells inside Noya he can’t just leave. He has to know what’s going on with his boyfriend. He’s to scared and worried about him just to let this go. So he shrugs off Tanaka’s hand from his shoulder and yells “No!” before looking back at Asahi with an angry look on his face.

“I’m not leaving! I won’t go until I understand! I need to know Asahi-san, so please just...just,” Noya begins to choke on his words but pushes through and yells loudly “Just tell me please!!”

“Noya I..” Asahi tries to respond, but before he can create a full sentence his insides begin to shift and he holds his stomach screaming in agony. _No! No please no!_ He screams inside his mind. He looks to the sky and sees that all the orange is gone and that the full moon has begun to make its way into the sky.

His eyes widened in panic and he looks back to Noya and Tanaka yelling “Run! Please go! Plea..ahhhhhhhh!” Asahi yells at the end of his sentence as his whole body begins to shift. His rational mind is beginning to disappear and the animal inside him eats away at his soul. Before the monster in him takes over, Asahi takes one final look at Noya. He looks at his beautiful, amber eyes and he whimpers a small “I’m sorry.” 

Asahi then falls to the ground and his skin begins to tear away, being replaced with dark brown fur. His face shifts and his body changes into the shape of a giant wolf, as big as a grizzly bear. His eyes become an eerie, iridescent brown. Everything Asahi was, is, disappears... and all that’s left is the wolf.

* * *

 

As Asahi changed Tanaka pleaded with Noya, grabbing his arm and telling him to run, but Noya stood frozen; watching as the man he loved was consumed by this thing..this monster.

When Asahi is fully gone and the wolf is all that’s left Noya stares at it in fear and shock. He looks at it and whispers slowly, in surprised horror. “Asahi?”

The wolf immediately picks up on the sound and looks at Noya. It growls violently and lowers its body, ready to pounce. 

Tanaka screams “Run!” and grabs Noya forcefully by the hand and drags him away. Tanaka tugging him by his hand snaps Noya back into reality and his heart begins to race as he begins to move his legs and run along with his friend. 

The wolf snarls and gives them a moment to run, then it sprints after them. It catches up quickly to the pair and once its close enough it pounces. It goes for Tanaka who is a little bit behind Noya, but Noya notices the direction of the wolf’s jump and he slows down and pushes Tanaka out of the way. The wolf pushes Noya to the ground and pins the small man down by placing its paws on his arms and digging its claws into them. Noya screams in pain as the claws dig deep into his arms.

“Noya-san!!” Tanaka yells in panic when he hears his friend scream. He looks around to see if he can find something to use as a weapon and he manages to see a huge tree branch. He picks it up then takes a breath and thinks _Damn this is dumb_ before he runs towards the wolf and tries to hit it on the head with all the strength he can muster. 

The wolf, however, heard Tanaka’s charge and stepped off of one of Noya’s arms to face Tanaka. When Tanaka is just about to hit it in the head the wolf grabs the stick with its teeth and lifts the stick up, picking Tanaka off the ground. It then flings Tanaka and the stick hard into a tree. Tanaka hits his head on the tree and is knocked out instantly. 

“Ryu!” Noya exclaims. As Noya yells the wolf turns back to him and places its paw and claws back on the arm it had let lose for a moment. It then leans down and opens its mouth, growling and slobbering. Noya turns his head so he can see the wolf’s face. His heart is racing and he begins to panic. He’s so afraid, so scared, but then he sees the wolf’s eyes. They have a weird luminous tone to them, but they still hold the same warm, chestnut color that Asahi’s eyes have. Those eyes were the first thing Noya noticed about the man, well besides the fact he was really tall and had a lion’s mane of hair, but those eyes were the first thing he fell in love with. He still loved them, even now, when he was about to die. 

It was looking at those eyes that made Noya realize that his boyfriend was still there somewhere. That he was probably crying his eyes out and feeling extremely guilt ridden somewhere inside that monster. He couldn’t let him feel that way. So with tears in his eyes Noya smiled slightly before saying softly “It’s okay. It’s okay Asahi-san. I...I’m sorry for yelling at you. I...I love you.”Noya then closed his eyes and accepted his fate. He waited for the wolf to bite into his skull and end his life...but it didn’t.

Instead Noya heard the wolf yelp in pain and back away from him lifting the pressure off his arms. Noya opened his eyes and raised up quickly to see what was happening. When he laid his eyes on the wolf it was thrashing its head and yelping. It looked as if it were fighting with something, and whatever it was fighting was putting up one hell of a fight. 

The wolf thrashed and snarled and yelped and jumped around and as it did Noya took the chance to run away from it and head over to Tanaka. When he got to him Noya first checked for his pulse as a bunch of medical shows had shown him to do. Once he found it and realized Tanaka was breathing he examined his friends entire body for injuries. The only thing he found was a small bump on his head from where he had hit the tree, but not a big enough bump for him to have done any serious damage to his brain Noya believed. “Thank God you have a thick, stubborn head.” Noya said with extreme relief. He then heard the wolf howl loudly in pain and he looked back at it to see what was going on. 

The wolf was still thrashing its head and clawing at the ground, howling in distress. Noya watched it, confused and frightened until it stopped. It just stopped and looked down at the ground taking in massive gulps of air. Noya stopped breathing and waited to see what it would do. He waited and waited until the wolf’s breath evened out. Once it was breathing normally the wolf looked up, straight into Noya’s eyes. 

Noya gasped in fear, thinking it was going to attack him, but it didn’t. It just stared. This puzzled Noya and he wondered why it wasn’t doing anything, until he saw its eyes. The color in them had changed. The eerie brown was gone, and all that was left was a soft chestnut hue. Noya’s eyes widened in shock as he slowly realized that for that moment the wolf was gone, and that what stood in front of him was... “Asahi.”

The wolf grimaced at the sound of the name and looked down in shame. It then looked up with the most pitiful, guilt ridden look Noya had ever seen, before the wolf turned away and ran. 

Noya lurched and yelled “Wait! Asahi-san!” but it was already many feet away. Noya’s heart was aching and he felt tears sting his cheeks. He knew now the secret that Asahi had been hiding. He knew and it hurt to know because he couldn’t imagine the pain Asahi had been through. _How long had he been like this? Was this why he wakes up in the middle of the night sweat ridden and shaking?_ There were so many questions swarming through Noya’s mind, questions he needed answers to if he was going to help his boyfriend. 

Most people would probably think he was crazy for wanting to help him, he even thought he was a little mad himself, but he couldn’t hate Asahi for this. He probably didn’t have a choice in it, since that’s how most werewolf stories go; and Noya loved him to much to ever hate him. 

So Noya decided right then and there that when morning came he would talk to Asahi about this and see what was going on, but first he had to make sure him and Tanaka survived the night. 

As Noya thought of his friend he heard a groan from beside him. He turned towards the noise instantly and a wave of relief hit him when he saw his best friend raising up and scratching the back of his head. “Ryu! Oh my God man, are you okay?”

Tanaka scratched his head and replied sarcastically “Oh yeah. Just peachy.”

Noya slightly giggled at his friend’s words, before saying “Hey you could be worse off.”

“Yeah. Wait...why aren’t you dead. I thought that monster...” Tanaka began to ask but Noya cut him off.

“It’s okay. It..it let me go.” Noya said.

“Let you go? What the hell do you mean let you go?” Tanaka asked confused.

“Look I’ll explain after we’re safe. Do you think you can stand?”

“Yeah yeah.”

“How about climb a tree?”

Tanaka looks at Noya like he’s crazy. Noya replies to his look saying “Look dude the car’s to far and we have no idea when that wolf thing will be back. It’s the safest option.”

Tanaka considers Noya’s words then sighs aggravatingly. “Fine, but don’t expect no fast paced Naruto shit.”

“Deal. Now get your ass up and let’s go.”

“God, you owe me big time for this shit.”

Noya helps Tanaka to his feet, and by some miracle they manage to make it half way up a tree without injuring themselves even more than they already are.Once safely up the tree Noya explains to Tanaka how the wolf let him go, and how he beliefs Asahi fought it and took over long enough to lead the wolf away from them. He knows it sounds insane but Tanaka listens and considers every werewolf related show or book he’s watched and has to accept that maybe that’s what happened. The two continue to converse through the night to keep Tanaka awake because Noya fears he might have a concussion, and because Noya is to worried and confused to sleep and Tanaka doesn’t want him to be alone. When they begin to see light rising the pair become extremely relieved, but they don’t know when Asahi will change back so they wait and they listen for any signs of the tall man.

* * *

 

A good few feet away from them Asahi opens his eyes slowly, awakening from a rough slumber. He is laying down on the cold dirt floor covered in a blanket of autumn leafs. He lays for a moment until his eyes focus better and then he slowly raises up. 

He instantly feels a cold chill on his bare skin and he shivers and hugs himself. _Damn it’s cold_ Asahi thinks to himself as he takes in his surroundings and tries to remember the events of the night before. He can never remember fully what happens when he..when it takes over. He can only ever remembers one or two fuzzy images that are hard to make out. He remembers running and screaming and...and...the smell...of Gari Gari Kun. 

Asahi’s eyes widen in horror as he remembers what he saw before he changed, that Tanaka and Noya had been standing near a tree and...and... “Oh God no!”

Asahi stands up quickly and begins to yell at the top of his lungs “Noya! Tanaka!” He waits a moment after he answers but hears nothing. _No...please no!_ Asahi breaks into a sprint and begins to yell frantically. He runs and runs, screams and screams, but he doesn’t hear anything. _Please tell me I didn’t...please tell me they’re not...Please tell me...God Tanaka...Yuu...  
_

Asahi’s eyes begin to flood with tears and he stops. He clenches his fists and looks down at the ground. He closes his eyes and his mind is instantly flooded with images of him and Noya. He thinks of the bad times and the good times. He thinks about them going on their first date. He thinks about Noya’s surprised expression when he beat him at his favorite game. He thinks about their last fight and how much he regrets it. He thinks about wanting to tell him _I love you_ , but always being to afraid to say it. 

He thinks of Noya and he is filled with so much sorrow and regret because he’s...he’s... “Oh God I’m so sorry.” Asahi sobs out. “I’m so sorry Yuu!”

“Asahi-san?”

Asahi freezes and he opens his eyes wide. He turns his head quickly towards the voice...his heart then fills rapidly... overwhelming..with relief and joy. 

Standing close, next to a tree is Noya with a smile on his face and tears flowing from his eyes.

“Yuu!” Asahi exclaims in solace as he runs to him. When he gets to Noya he falls to his knees and hugs him close. He sobs uncontrollably and holds Noya tight. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Asahi chokes between sobs.

Noya hugs him back with just as much force and continues to cry. “It’s okay.” He states softly. “It’s okay. We’re alright.”

Asahi shakes his head and looks up at Noya with a pitiful expression. “No it’s not. I...I..” Asahi then looks down in shame. “I could have killed you both.” 

Noya places a hand gently on either side of Asahi’s face and lifts his head up so Asahi can look at him. “It’s alright. We’re fine. Ryu’s a tough guy and so am I. We’re okay Asahi-san. I promise.”

“But...but...” Asahi begins to say, but in his peripheral he catches a huge tear in Noya’s hoodie and sees that most of his forearm is stained with blood and scratches. “Oh God Nishinoya your arm!”

“Relax. It’s alright. It’s just a scratch.It’ll heal.” Noya says smoothly. 

“God I did that to you. God I...” Asahi looks down again.”I’m so sor...”

“Stop saying you’re sorry damn it!” Noya yells, frustrated at his boyfriend’s apologies. “I’m fine! I’m just...I’m worried about you!” 

Asahi looks up at Noya confused. “Why would you worry about me? You’re the one who was almost killed by me! If anything you should be angry at me! You should hate me! You should be yelling at me, calling me a monster and.mmm..”

Noya kisses Asahi forcefully to stop him from spouting out such impossible things. He keeps his lips against Asahi’s until he is sure he will stop speaking ,then when their lips part Noya leans back and places his arms to his sides. 

He gives Asahi a stern look and says “Now you listen to me! I could never hate you and I would never do such improbable things! And you know why! It’s because I love you! I love you so much and I...I thought I was going to lose you! You left the apartment and I got so scared because I thought you were gone for good, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it! So I called Ryu and he helped me find you, so I...so I could tell you these things, and so I could say that I don’t care what secrets or problems you have because...because when you love someone you accept them for every piece of them... and I accept every beautiful and terrible piece of you!”

By the end of his speech Noya is choking on tears, and Asahi stares at him in shocked amazement. Noya then takes a breath and hugs Asahi saying “So please don’t ever think I’d hate you or call you a monster, because you’re not a monster. You’re the nicest, most beautiful person I know and...” Noya raises his head a bit so Asahi can see his soft, smiling face. “And how could I ever hate someone I love so much.”

Asahi’s heart swells with an overwhelming feeling of love. He smiles, cries, and takes Noya’s face into his hands gently then kisses him slowly, passionately. They kiss for what feels like an eternity, and when they part lips Asahi looks at Noya with an expression that is filled with love and says “I love you, Yuu.”

Noya smiles back and says “I love you too, Asahi.”

They kiss again and again until they hear a loud, coughing sound from nearby. The two stop kissing and look towards where the noise came from to find Tanaka standing there with a smug grin. “Hey there lover boys. Sorry to interrupt this gushy moment you’re having but uh it’s a Thursday and I kind of have to get to work. Plus I don’t think sitting naked in the forest is the best way to keep from catching hypothermia.”

Asahi’s face turns completely red as he remembers that he doesn’t have any clothes on and he instantly covers himself as much as possible with his arms. Noya blushes and stifles a laugh as he examines Asahi. He hadn’t really noticed his boyfriend’s lack of clothing until just now. He then scratches the back of his head and says “Well, I’d offer you my hoodie, but I think its kind of small.”

Asahi chuckles a bit at Noya’s comment.”Don’t worry. I have some clothes stuffed in a bag in one of these trees. It’s.. just a matter of finding it.”

“Oh great. Well I guess I’m going to be late.” Tanaka complains.

“Not like that’s anything new.” Noya states with a sly grin to Tanaka.

“Hey! I try to be a very proficient businessman thank you!” Tanaka says with an over-exaggerated, offended expression.

“Sure.” Noya replies sarcastically. He then lets go of Asahi and backs away from him a bit and offers a hand. “Come on Asa-san. We have to make sure the “businessman” gets to work at a decent hour.”

Asahi huffs through his nose a bit and smiles at Noya before taking his hand and standing up. They continue to hold hands as they walk through the forest trying to find Asahi’s clothes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading this. It's been a long time since I've written anything so I hope this didn't suck to badly. I hope you have a lovely day/night and thank you again for reading :D


End file.
